So Vain

Once upon a time (like before I got married) I used to care a whole lot about what I looked like. I went to the gym everyday, I kept up on my highlights, waxing, mani/pedi's, teeth whitening and went fake-baking regularly for that "natural glow".

Then we got a little bundle of joy and somehow the amount of hours in a day shrunk by about 5, and the available budget shrunk by about 50%. Sounds unreasonable, but it's true. Trust me... I'm a scientist.

Slowly my beauty habits got cut from the top of our priority list. A few weeks ago, Matt noticed the length of hair on my legs and yelled "Quick! Somebody call the Guiness Book of World Records! I think we have a record breaker!" Ass.

I get the point. Yesterday as I was getting ready, I noticed my skin didn't have that "natural glow" I had become acustom to over the years and decided on my lunch break I would head to the tanning salon for a quick fix. The girl at the front desk suggested I go for half the time. I was so offended! Did she not notice my olive complexion??? I told her I could handle the full time to which she replied, "Are you sure?" Um, I think I know what I can handle, thanks.

Not my wisest decision. I stood in the booth holding the straps at the top and dancing my booty off for the maximum amount of time (for someone with a good base tan). I do not have a base tan. I don't have any kind of tan. Actually the majority of my skin has not seen the light of day in over a year.

I didn't realize the extent of my mistake until I returned home from my spin class, and Matt said, "That must have been a good workout, your whole body is bright red."

It's called a sunburn... it's everywhere and it's not cute. Thanks to the straps at the top I was holding onto, I even have a sunburn in my armpits - a first. Bah! I can't even blame it on the beach! So maybe I'll stick with this more natural look a little longer... being vain is too painful.